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[ingeniar]

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USERNAME: STARK

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[rehandle]

Right.

[ Hhhhhhhhh. ]

Problem?

[ingeniar]

[ No. Yes. No. Yes. Maybe. ]

Might take some getting used to.

[rehandle]

[ It's— something to consider. And also the best chance he's had to transition into a slightly different question so far, though it's a conversation he should absolutely be keeping to have in person... ]

And if they're not some local chump?

Or if it isn't work.

[ingeniar]

Like if it's someone other than Shadowheart?

[rehandle]

Yeah.

[ingeniar]

More than just a hookup?

[rehandle]

No. I'd tell you, if there was anything
If I thought it was anything like that, I'd talk to you.

[ingeniar]

[ Tony sits with that for a minute or so, framing an answer in his mind. Taking it down, reframing it, putting it back up. ]

I should probably tell you that I had sex with Wanda.

[rehandle]

[ He's not sure what he's expecting in answer. It isn't that. A brief delay, wondering if the context is anything, wondering how long it'll take him to figure out how he feels about this, but the only way to understand is - ]

When?

[ingeniar]

When I was, you know. Crazy. I don't really remember anything. She had to tell me about it.

[rehandle]

[ Relief. Discomfort. Another little drop in his gut.

Nevermind the who of it, for a moment. In the too much of everything that came after, he'd forgotten there was ever a what. ]

Are you okay?

[ingeniar]

[ Pick a different question, Strange. ]

Sure.

[rehandle]

[ Tony. ]

I don't care that you had sex with Wanda while you were out of your mind, Tony. I care if you're alright.

[ingeniar]

[ Typing some stuff, deleting it. ]

And if I'm not?

[rehandle]

Then I'm coming to find you.

[ingeniar]

Don't. You can't just magic this away, Stephen. I need to feel this.

[rehandle]

[ It stings. Something about the accusation, the imagined intention. Stephen bites down on the urge to argue, just asks, ]

Do you have to feel it on your own?

[ingeniar]

I have to learn how to carry it. That's how it works.

[ Thanks to the Howard Stark school of parenting for that one. ]

[rehandle]

Why

[ingeniar]

Because it does.

[ Because this is a load bearing trauma. Because if one thing goes, the whole thing goes. Because he's been in cascade failure since Titan. Because -- ]

It just does.

[rehandle]

No. Not anymore.

[ Not anymore. He'll give Tony the time it takes him to walk to where he is, but he's not sitting still anymore. ]

[ingeniar]

You can't fix it.

[rehandle]

I don't want to fix it. I want to be there.

[ingeniar]

[ Pepper used to do this. When the nightmares got really bad, so bad he'd stop sleeping and go to work instead, days and nights in a row trying to make something -- anything -- that could make it possible for him to go back and make it right, she'd just stop arguing with him. She would plant her feet and refuse to move. Sometimes she'd make him go to bed, but sometimes she'd just sit down in the workshop with him, reading, nursing Morgan, or just sitting there watching him. Not doing anything. Just being there. Waiting for the cracks to show. And then she'd stay there when he fell apart, until he could pick himself back up again.

But, she's not here, which is part of the problem -- and doing that in front of Stephen, he can't possibly ask him to -- ]

Why?

[rehandle]

Because you're mine.

Whatever else that looks like for us now, it means I hold you while you carry what you can't bear.